By Beth Winze
My thighs touch; I wear a pant size that has two digits instead of one; my cheeks are filled out so that you cannot see my cheekbones; I have freckles, but they are in spontaneous clumps and not evenly spread out; I have one dimple that is never consistent; my hair is shaggy and involves lots of taming because Great Clips always cuts it incorrectly; I have copious eyebrows, my lips are abundant; my eyes are cobalt blue; I wear a wide-fit shoe because narrow shoes are a witticism; push-up bras never work on me, and I wear size 8 ring.
This is not a pity party. I am not complaining. I am describing how God made me. I am not striking to the world at all – this is just a reality. I am an oversized girl who loves her cookies and cream ice cream just a tad too much according to Cosmopolitan. The doctor tells me that I am nowhere near obese, but I am neither in my “healthy chart range” for women my age and height. But the world does not know who I really am. I am just a cover to them, but to God I am a book. A book with pages that have been stained with His blood and tears spilled for me. I am so much more than the cover of Vogue or the fashion in Gucci. I am purely a girl who would be nothing without Christ. It took me fourteen years to be able to look in the mirror and not absolutely detest the girl looking back. I hated the reflection of me so much that I let it show. I was so dreadfully concerned about how others saw me, that I forgot how Christ sees me – perfect, whole, and beautiful in Him.
Christ did not create me to hide. He created me to be bold for Him. So if that means accepting myself as imperfectly perfect, than be it so. You would not tell an artist that the art he created was terrible. So why would we want to hate ourselves for how He made us. I don’t hate the girl in the mirror anymore. Instead I have learned to love my oddities and quite surprisingly feel confident in my beauty through Him.
Trust me, finding comfort in the words “God made you exactly how you should be,” or “It’s what’s on the inside that counts” are a dreadful way to settle. You have to discover it yourself. Even the encouragement from others, while beautiful, is not going to make you see your beauty. It is between you and God. It is a painful journey with questions like “Why not two inches shorter?”, “Why not fifty pounds lighter?”, “Why not two bra sizes larger?”, but it is within these tormenting, challenging questions that you are able to accurately realize the things that God made you to be. You are more than a cover. You are book written with His love and mercy for you. Shine bright for Christ and you most definitely will find your beauty!
So while I will never meet the world’s standards of beautiful, I will never fail to meet God’s.
“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.” – Song of Solomon 4:7