By Beth Winze
Minor phrases mindlessly said or a new word mentioned in conversation captures my attention more rapidly than anything else. My heart is fascinated by the English language and the way one can so eloquently place a few words together to make life seem more decorated.
The other evening, our tawny colored 2004 Honda hauled a three-generation car-full to Bible study. My grandmother, mother, sister and I all loaded into the car with Bibles and notebooks, ready to receive God’s Word. I discovered just how beautiful it is to be able to learn God’s Word with two of the most impactful women in my life.
Lately, my heart has been craving the kind of soothing balm only God’s Word has ever been able to provide me. Everyday seems to weigh heavier and heavier on me as my struggle to sleep peacefully at night escalades, and my confidence and positivity for my future weakens. My heart is still grieving the death of a friend and my wounded heart was re-opened a few nights ago. It feels like I am starting all over again with the grieving. It is a rut I feel stuck in. Working 40 hours a week is giving me the much needed money for college, but it’s wearing me down.
Last night, Bible study was God’s way of knocking on my heart and saying, “Remember me?” I have not been a great Christian lately. My Bible has gotten dusty and my prayers have slowly waned. I feel upset that it is this way. Our Bible study book we are going through is called Work In Progress: An Unfinished Woman’s Guide to Grace by Kristin Armstrong. The book clearly illustrates the fact that we are all a work in progress. Last night felt like an inhalation of fresh air that I did not realize I needed as much as I did. The book exposes that we are not perfect, and that it is okay. God is always finishing His work in us. We can’t finish it alone.
“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Going through the discussion, a woman sitting a table behind us was talking about God’s provision of safety recently in her life. She made one modest statement that captured my heart.
“I don’t know if we’re getting hit, but we’re going through it.”
She of course was referencing to a near car accident they were almost involved in, but I applied it to my life.
“Consistently hit” would not even edge on how I have been feeling. Least to say my life has been burdened by the rocks called Frustration, Hurt, Grief, and Fear, but frankly, I am not letting my Savior do the saving. Her statement stuck with me because I realize this describes my life right now. I do not know how much I am going to keep getting hit, but I’m going through it. Christ is my Defender and He has protected me more than I can imagine. He’s not sticking me on the road of life with a tiny, battery powered, and energy-saving death trap. He has placed me in an armored tank with reinforced steel and outer shields. Sure I am dinged, scratched and bumped up, but God is protecting me from so much more than what I could be “driving” through. So while I’m grieving, not sleeping well, and finding a lost hope, God is still keeping me sealed in that tank that is carrying me through. I am going through this for a reason I know. God is making that abundantly clear to me.
“Though I walk in the midst of trouble, you preserve my life; you stretch out your hand against the wrath of my enemies, and your right hand delivers me.”