By Beth Winze
In pursuit of intentional transparency with people, I thought I would take a few moments to write about some intense life course changes that have happened over the past few weeks. First off, God has shown up in ways I would have never imagined. God’s hand has been guiding this exponential transition in my life to a purpose greater than my own plans. If you have kept up with my blog recently, I have written about being rutted in a post-graduation ditch where jobs, emotions, and events were refusing to fit together in a neat little package. I was forcing things where they should not have been forced and resting my hope and future in my own plans as a substitute for God’s. I will forever treasure the way God decidedly wiped my plans off the table and replaced them with His own blueprints. I’m learning that within submission to God, there is so much grace and love.
To rewind a bit and get you on the same page you will need some back story information. About three and a half weeks ago, I was called by a company (not within my major) regarding a job interview. I went in, with a dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that this job was not going to be fruitful and was only going to provide me with a paycheck. I went anyway and was determined to show face and see what the company was about. After a 15 minute interview, being told my resume was irrelevant and hearing about how hiring me would only get my supervisor bigger paychecks, I walked out feeling dejected. I felt like my major had betrayed me, the hard work I had put in the past three years academically meant nothing, and that my future was not looking bright. I cried the whole way home and was beyond frustrated. I had cancelled a mission trip to London a week and a half prior because of uncertainty and overall fear for my future. I felt that God had been calling me to London earlier this year, and felt in June that God was telling me “No more London” and I had absolutely no rational idea why. But between my fear and acting out of obedience I cancelled my trip to London. At this point, I was feeling absolutely low. So here I am, bad interview, no future travel plans to look forward to, no job and no hints of any big waves on the horizon.
Long story short, That afternoon I called into a company nearby and inquired if they were hiring. After they informed me they were indeed hiring for a part-time position I applied and prayed fervently that this was within God’s plan. On the way home I stopped by a local police department and asked if they had any non-sworn officer positions open, they did not, but instead of turning me away discouragingly, the secretary told me that there was a local community college still enrolling students for their Basic Law Enforcement Training School (BLET). Without hesitation, I applied, I told God that if this was what He wanted me to do to make it abundantly clear to me because I was tired of a foggy future. Be careful for what you pray for dear Reader because when you move within God’s will, things happen – big things. I was accepted into the school and received the job offer for the part time position all within 3 days. I was completely overwhelmed and emotional. For the first time, in three and a half months, I had a new goal to work towards. But the story doesn’t stop here my friends.
I was determined to fund my way through BLET. With under $900 in my savings account and about $1,500 worth of clothing, background checks, textbooks, doctor’s appointments I found myself petitioning God to yet again provide the means necessary. If God was going to call me to wipe out my savings account to get through this school then I was going to do it, but oh did I long for another alternative. A week ago I received a check. Remember that London trip I begrudgingly gave up earlier this summer for unknown reasons? I had been reimbursed a certain percentage of the flight tickets that I had not used. Without monetary details, I will tell you that it completely covered the rest of the costs for BLET with minimal savings withdrawals!
I do want to delve into some valuable lessons learned in the past few weeks.
- God does not leave us in a desert without provision. During the sermon this past Sunday from my church, the pastor said something that resonated deeply within my soul. “What if that desert of darkness is actually a valley of resources to equip you to break down your strongholds?” Often times, when I have struggled in a season of life, I refuse to look at how the pain and frustration could benefit me. I can’t see God in the tangle of it all. But those moments, when we can’t see the forest for the trees anymore, are the moments God uses that strife to strengthen us – so we can learn to build resistance against those pressures.
- God will exponentially blow your mind when you move within His plan. Nowhere in a million years would I have ever thought that God was going to orchestrate the entire process of both the job and BLET to work out perfectly. My underestimation of Him proved to be the moment where He decided to not only prove me wrong, but to show up in ways I could only dream of. I love these moments when within our relationship with Him we count it impossible. I like to think that God is up there looking at us saying, “Oh you think that’s impossible? You’re cute. Now watch this.” I like to think He takes these opportunities to blow our minds because of our reactions. The dumbfounded state I have been existing in the last week I am sure has provided God with a little light “I told you so” moments.
- Show up to the fight, knowing you won’t have to. This was another key highlight from the sermon this past Sunday. It further solidified the fact that when one stays hemmed inside of God’s will, the hard work is done by God. 2 Chronicles 20:15 says: “…Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.” I think the beauty within this verse is not in the fact that God fights these battles in our stead, but that even though they aren’t ours, we still need to train and prepare for them as intensely as if we were on the frontline (refer back to point 1 about being equipped in the deserts)
Dear friends, I don’t know what season of life you are walking through right now. But I do want to share how God has moved in mine. I think more often than not we don’t share the astounding things God is doing and has done and we miss great opportunities to encourage others. If you are struggling right now or finding yourself in a foggy season, I can assure you that my fog has lifted and that there is hope and a future on the other side of uncertainty and chaos.